my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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