You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
