Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize