Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
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She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
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im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed