I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.