Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
