Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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