walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
