You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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