apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
