I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
