we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
