covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
