North Korea, Best Korea!
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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