I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
My ass is underappreciated
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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