I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Never underestimate the power of titties
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