He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
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