I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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