He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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