so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
