We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
