i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
