"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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