if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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