just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
we made out on top of his cat.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Randomize
