I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Bring me that man meat
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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