Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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