On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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