I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
