Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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