oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Randomize
