Texts From Last Night

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  (917): View more from New York City

  K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.

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  (917): K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs. http://tfl.nu/lbd0
  Replies (11) Good night (718) Bad night (1589)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.

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  (865): sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself. http://tfl.nu/7igx
  Replies (28) Good night (2995) Bad night (656)
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  (607): View more from New York

  whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?

  (1-607): View more from New York

  King Triton

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  (607): whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to? (1-607) King Triton http://tfl.nu/vy7a
  Replies (77) Good night (1403) Bad night (2924)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.

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  (913): Her vagina was like a man-sized safe. http://tfl.nu/e508
  Replies (10) Good night (651) Bad night (3503)
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  (415): View more from California

  Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Cooked or uncooked?

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  (415): Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep. (503): Cooked or uncooked? http://tfl.nu/xhai
  Replies (12) Good night (4166) Bad night (784)
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  (716): View more from New York

  can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that

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  (716): can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that http://tfl.nu/z1zg
  Replies (5) Good night (760) Bad night (3739)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.

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  (262): I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day. http://tfl.nu/uzwr
  Replies (15) Good night (5275) Bad night (921)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter

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  (732): i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter http://tfl.nu/90no
  Replies (15) Good night (5772) Bad night (1179)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?

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  (419): I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat? http://tfl.nu/2nrh
  Replies (30) Good night (1253) Bad night (4286)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.

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  (814): the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently. http://tfl.nu/7dnx
  Replies (6) Good night (3660) Bad night (829)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level

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  (434): i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level http://tfl.nu/1fd3
  Replies (11) Good night (3084) Bad night (1719)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona

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  (503): still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona http://tfl.nu/3dwf
  Replies (8) Good night (1295) Bad night (2884)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.

  (810): View more from Michigan

  We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.

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  (248): I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed. (810): We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team. http://tfl.nu/dgq9
  Replies (0) Good night (603) Bad night (459)
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  (909): View more from California

  I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.

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  (909): I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet. http://tfl.nu/qg4g
  Replies (0) Good night (284) Bad night (140)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?

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  (+44): is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat? http://tfl.nu/tpug
  Replies (3) Good night (406) Bad night (155)

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