I'm really into asian looking animals
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist