I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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