And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling