Pregnant stripper...not hot.
My balls are so social today.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
