I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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