Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Brb crying the tears of my youth
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
