): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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