I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
