This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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