don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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