I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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