yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
