Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
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