Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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