I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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