there's paper in my vomit.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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