Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
