I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
