you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
