It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
