I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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