I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
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You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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