I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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