But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
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I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
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I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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