tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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