just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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