dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
