google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
