the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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