Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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